About 25 years ago, I participated in a three-day women’s weekend in which I experienced one of the most transformational and empowering moments of my life: an anger expression exercise. For the first time, I gave voice to feelings I had repressed throughout my youth. Not knowing how to handle them, I buried them instead—disconnecting from myself in the process. Allowing my anger to finally flow was a reclamation of my personal power and my sense of mattering. I have not been the same since.
I kept returning to these retreats and eventually came to lead the anger section myself. During one of those sessions, I coined the term Anger Gym. It represents a judgment-free space to own and express our repressed hurt, pain, and anger. In doing so, we reconnect with our truth, set healthy boundaries, stand up for ourselves, and release pent-up emotions on a physiological level—restoring flow, freedom, and aliveness.
The story behind Anger Gym
Why the Name Anger Gym?
Just like we go to a fitness gym to lift weights and build strength for daily life, the Anger Gym is a place to practice releasing and channeling anger in healthy, safe ways. We don’t carry around 25-pound dumbbells everywhere we go, but the strength we build at the gym helps us move through life more freely. In the same way, you’re not meant to rage at everyone in your life—but having an embodied experience of fully expressing your anger makes it easier to stay grounded and in flow when life inevitably brings moments that really push your buttons.
In this space—alongside other women and with the support of skilled facilitators—you’ll use bioenergetic exercises to open up, release old resentments, and dismantle the protective walls built from past hurt. The result is a greater sense of freedom, aliveness, and authentic connection to yourself.
Why Focus on ANGER?
As children we adapt to our environment and learn to suppress our feelings - we hold in our fear, muffle our tears, quiet our joy, and stifle our anger in order because we sense our parents or caregivers can’t handle them. Over time, we form beliefs about which emotions “okay” and which ones are not. To cope, we develop patterns to deal with our emotions: isolating ourselves from others, eating for comfort, watching television or getting lost in books, rebelling as a way to express our anger, developing a strong inner critic that pushes us to strive, to name a few. These coping mechanisms may help us survive, but they become a mask — a shell that hides (and protects) our true self. While all repressed feelings are worth reclaiming, I’ve found that reconnecting with anger is uniquely powerful. It activates the body’s energy to break through the shell, dissolving old patterns and opening the door to authentic self-expression.
What is Bioenergetics and Somatic Expression?
The Anger Gym uses a handful of bioenergetic techniques to help us express and release pent up emotions of anger in the body. You will be able to use some of these on your own at home. Bioenergetics is a way of understanding personality in terms of the body and its energetic processes. Alexander Lowen, M.D. developed Bioenergetics over 75 years ago as a therapeutic technique to help people get back together with the body and enjoy the life of the body to the fullest degree possible. (See: What is Bioenergetics? | Lowen Foundation). Additionally, Peter Levine developed his Somatic Experiencing methods in the 1970’s based on what he observed about how animals deal with threat in their bodies.
More commonly known these days is the term somatic expression. Simply put, the term somatic means of the body, as apart from the mind. There has been an explosion of research, therapies and practices that have emerged out of the idea, or fact, that our body holds and expresses experiences and emotions, and that traumatic events or unresolved emotional issues can become 'trapped' within the cells of our bodies. It makes sense, then, that focusing on the body (somatic) through the use of mindfulness, breathing, touch, movement and emoting can help us release what has been trapped.
What I hope Anger Gym offers is a space where women can witness and experience the power that their anger holds. When expressed in healthy, safe ways, anger can transform bitterness, passive aggression, and the internal voices of self-blame and criticism. It helps us step fully into ourselves and reclaim the energy we need to create our lives intentionally.
On a broader scale, our smartphones and the internet bring us a constant flood of information and suffering in addition to what we feel in our own lives that is too much for any human to process. We end up shutting down or ignore our emotions just to keep going. Expressing our feelings, including anger, loudly and proudly is a way to reclaim our humanity, reconnect with our vitality, and affirm our full presence in the world.
The Woman’s Essential Experience weekend retreat was designed by Dr. Judith Wright circa 1995 and was offered for over 25 years. Special acknowledgement goes to her, and to my partners in Anger: Angela Kezon, Edda Coscioni, Beryl Stromsta, and to Barbara Burgess for her contributions.